Third time's the charm?

[Jim]

A coupla' years back, I posted about the two young fellas I was working with as a mentor. Unfortunately (for several parties!), the father decided their participation in sports was more important. I never could get him to commit to me getting any time with the boys. It really disappointed me as I was looking forward to it.

Last October, I posted about a young man that I had been buddying around with and his newly aquired Mossberg .243. He expressed an interest in learning how to load for it, so I told him I'd be glad to help him. One member donated a brand new set of .243 Lee dies and another member sent a box of .243 brass and a mess of assorted .243 factory bullets. I had the young man post a note of thanks for the dies, brass and bullets. I haven't seen him since. I'm not the least bit ashamed to admit it's rather disheartening.

A coupla' months ago, I met a young man at the 'coon club card shoot. He was there with his Dad who I had met previously. The young man is still in high school. Nice boy, hair cut, well spoken and VERY polite. "Yes Sir" when he answers you. Called me "Mr. Jim".

We got to BSin' and talkin' about fishin', huntin', shootin' and all that stuff. I gave him my name and number and told him "Call me when school lets out an' we'll go catch some fish and shoot a few ground hogs." "REALLY?!! Thank you, Sir! I'd LOVE to do that!!" I left him talkin' to his daddy an' grinnin' like a jack@$$ with a mouth full o' briars.

Honestly, I forgot about the boy. My cell just rang and it was Mason, the young man. "I'm gettin' outa' school next Thursday. Can I still go fishin' and shootin' with you?" I love to hear the excitement in a young fella's voice when he's been told he's gonna get to do something he doesn't get much chance to do.

I told him I'd give him a call first Monday of June and we'd link up. I hope that "Third time's the charm" thing kicks in for me. Wish my luck, fellas.

[Smitty's Retired]

Well Jim, sometimes with young folks other interests do get in the way. The only thing you can do is try to promote the comoradery, sportsmanship, and skills that you are trying to pass on. With some, it may be easy to say, that your wasting your time or some may say that people will take advantage of your willingness to help others!! But, I've always looked at it this way ........ If you donate some goods or money to an individual because he is in need, then that individual uses the money or goods in a way to buy alcohol or drugs, then the misdeed is done by that individual, not by you for giving him the goods or money. That in itself is no reason to harden your heart or lessen your willingness to help others.

Sometimes with young people, lessons that are passed on to them, are late in development. At some point in their life these lessons are brought to the front of their memories, and may have an impact on their development. We may never know what impact we have on others through life, but occasionally some will later in years remind you they appreciate what you did.

[blackthorn]

Jim--with the first 2 boys, it sounds like the choice to concentrate on other sports was initiated by their father. My experience has been that if you want a kid to do something let them think you do not! When those boys get to the point of making thier own decisions, you may just get a call. Hope so. As to the second guy--well--sometimes things just get in the way and the longer you are away from something the harder it is to re-connect. After awhile it just gets too embarresing to call and an opportuity is lost. Phones work both ways so why not give him a call, you know, just to see how he is getting along. You never know. Anyway, I hope you have loads of fun with friend number three----good hunting and fishing!

[JonB_in_Glencoe]

Gee, I hope you aren't thinkin' you failed on the first few efforts.

Back in the early 1990's, a older fellow (probably 85-90?) in my town was sellin' his large gun collection (for health reasons). He put an ad on the radio (a show called the "swap shop"), I heard it at work. When I showed up that evening, all the handguns were sold as well as most of the 'stock' rifles. He sold me four customized mil surps (I still have the nicest one, a czech in 257R). He asked me if I loaded my own ammo. I said No. He proceded to show me quite a collection of Herters reloading equipment, powder, primers, brass, bullets. He sold it all to me for $100, it was worth alot more, although I didn't really think so at that time. He said he hoped I'd start reloading. Well, That stuff sat in a closet for nearly a decade til I finally got the itch. I was young and had other stuff I wanted to do at that time.

So any way...Jim you planted a few seeds, it may be some time before they start growing...patients my friend.
Later,
Jon

[Jim]

..... Phones work both ways so why not give him a call, you know, just to see how he is getting along.....

Tried that a coupla' times. "I'm sorry, the number you dialed has been disconnected or is no longer in service." That's about the fourth time in a coupla' years the boy has changed his number. I think he misses payin' his bill, the phone gets shut off and he has to get another carrier.

He called my first week of March and told me he's gonna be a 'daddy'. Well, now we know where his mind is. Wanted to bring his girlfriend over to meet us that afternoon. I had to tell him that wouldn't work that afternnon, call me the next day he's off work. Haven't heard a word. Tried to call him late March, phone disconnected.

I did all I know to do.

[Lively Boy]

Jim, I praise your efforts, please don't stop. You have planted seeds that you may or may not see the fruits of soon. that will be a great reward when the time comes. keep at it at least for the kids. thanks for the effort.
Lively Boy

[shdwlkr]

Jim
haven't had much luck with young folks but I have a few of the middle age group that seek me out for help with firearms. Have 3-5 right now that want to learn to shoot, wonder what to get and how much it costs and if there is any ammo available. They are not all uninformed as to what is going on.

[starmac]

If I remember the first two boys, with help from you helped put needed meat on their families table. I could be thinking of someone else.
Sounds lifes struggles has got in the next boys way, it happens to most, but with the help you provided he has the capability of, and likely will at some point feed his (growing) family a few meals.

Personally I don't see a downside here, the help you provided, the knowledge you sparked, is something that will be with them for a lifetime and can't be taken away by anybody ever.

[Riverpigusmc]

You're a good man...young'uns today move at such a faster pace than we did, and their attention span sometimes equals that of a flea...all you can do is what you can do, but at least you make an effort..that's more than what a lot of todays parents do.

[10-x]

Jim, you did good. Looks like Floyd has changed quite a bit in 15 years. Back "when" most kids up there would have jumped at the chance to shoot, hunt or fish. I will always miss Copper Hill.

[TCLouis]

Though you have written off the previous two encounters with youngsters, you just never know what parts of your influence stuck deep in them!

Any time spent helping the youth of today avoid/cope with some of the very real dangers of growing up should reward you and society long term.

I THANK YOU AND COMMEND your efforts!

[JeffinNZ]

The thing is that if those boys are worth their salt they won't forget you and maybe you'll hear from them. Either way, you did well.

[429421Cowboy]

Well Jim thank you for the update at least, I had been curious as to what happened to the feller with the .243, and now I guess we all know. I am sorry to hear that, but please don't let it get you down. I know it sounds corny, but if you help one person or specifically, kid, it should have all been worth it.
I try and reach out to as many kids as I can since I teach hunter ed and am a 4-H leader now that I am too old to be a member, and some days it seems like nobody cares, then others really make it worth it. But, if you do manage to get one more person into our sport or help them get out enough to enjoy it and stay interested, then that's all you could hope for.
Keep your chin up and keep spreading the good word, there ARE kids out there still that make you proud to be a human being!

[TXGunNut]

You do what you can but in the end it's not your call. Youngsters today have many more distractions than I recall at that age. "Youngster" I'm working on is in his 30's, kids are out of diapers and he and the wife make good money. He's a diesel mechanic at a dealership so he's no dummy. I asked him about his progress on the loading manual I loaned him and his response was "there's a lot to this!". He's a shooter and a hunter, that's a plus. His father or another adult relative was a reloader but didn't show him how it all worked.
Never know, all we can do is try.

[edler7]

I have a young fellow I took under my wing. Known him since he was 4. His dad has some time for him, but he's not always in the picture due to a divorce. We had done some pheasant hunting and sporting clays over the years. Sam got a .308 for his 18th birthday, and hadn't had it a week before he showed it to me. I told him we could reload for it and cut down his ammo cost. Boy Howdy, did he jump at that chance ! I made him read a couple reloading manuals, then got him on the bench and started showing him the ropes. He took to it like a duck to water. We developed a load for his rifle and he was pleased as he could be. About 6 months later he got a .45 semi auto pistol and came from the gun shop to my place...wanting to start loading for it. I stuck him hard that time, got him into casting boolits for it in addition to loading. He has since bought most of the basics and loads for his rifle and pistol.

He has since moved on, so have I...after us living in the same town for a dozen years. He's in Texas, I'm in Kansas. Still hear from him about once a month- sometimes shooting the breeze, sometimes a reloading question. He's joining the Air Force in the fall and asked if he could use me for a reference. I was honored to tell him yes.

Don't give up, Jim. If it doesn't click, it wasn't meant to. I hope you and that kid that needs a little something extra from a guy who has a lot to give find each other. It's really neat when it happens.

[Jim]

.....Don't give up, Jim.

I haven't given up. I guess I'm just a thin skinned ol' sap of a fool that lets this kinda' stuff bother me.

My 30 something year old son in SC never calls me and won't return calls I make to him. I'm not ashamed to admit it hurts. So, when I form a relationship with a young fella around these parts, subconsiencely, I'm replacing the relationship I don't have with my son through the new relationship with my new 'adopted' son.

I've known the young man I spoke of since right after Janet and I landed here. It clicked and we fell right in together. He even came to the range I was working last year to spend a few days of vacation with me. He came by the house one time after I finished up that project and I haven't heard a word from him since.

I'm not letting that prevent me from connecting with this young fella I recently met. I'm just hoping this relationship doesn't wither and die, too.

[shdwlkr]

Jim
I have 9 kids that have no time for dad, been that way for a long time. I just accept that as adults they have the right to not want anything to do with dad. When I am gone they may wish they had spent the time to get to know dad but it will be too late at that point.
I have a 7 year old a 6 year old and a 21 year old that want time with dad and I am so grateful for that.
My 7 year old son talked about going whistle pigging today if something else doesn't get in the way. ha ha
Kids today have so much to spend time doing that didn't exist when I was a kid. We were just getting used to round wheels don't you know back then.
We can only hope those that follow us learn just how precious freedom is and to cherish it.